4 Ways to support a friend or relative who did not qualify to graduate this year
Image: Instagram/@clarissanany
Graduation season is upon us, and many are rightfully taking to social media to celebrate the fruits of their labour. It’s a beautiful thing to witness, years of hard work culminating in a moment of joy and pride.
However, amidst the caps, gowns, and glowing posts, there are students who, for various reasons, were unable to complete their course. Whether due to financial hardship, academic struggles, or health-related challenges, not reaching the finish line can be a deeply painful experience.
For these individuals, watching their peers graduate can be a bittersweet moment, a painful reminder of what could have been. Left unacknowledged, this experience may lead to anxiety, depression, or in extreme cases, thoughts of self-harm.
So, how can we be present for friends, siblings, or loved ones who didn’t graduate this year? Here are four gentle and practical ways to support them:
Sometimes, a simple call or message can make all the difference. Don’t feel the need to offer advice or emotional speeches, just be there. Let the conversation flow naturally and create space for them to share (or not share) what they’re feeling. Be a comforting presence, not a pressure point.
Invite them out for a calming activity, perhaps a walk in nature, bowling, or a quiet picnic. The idea is to create space away from digital noise and social comparisons. Try to avoid crowded places where they might run into familiar faces or face difficult questions about their graduation status. Keep it light, enjoyable, and pressure-free.
It can be difficult to talk about what happened, but if the time feels right, gently open the conversation. Ask how they’re feeling about not graduating and how you might be able to support them going forward. Celebrate how far they’ve come, remind them that this isn’t the end, and if they’re open to it, suggest uplifting books, podcasts, or support groups.
Importantly, allow them to express their emotions without interruption. Listen first, then share your thoughts with kindness. If you sense they’re deeply struggling, don’t hesitate to encourage professional help.
While your support is meaningful, it’s equally important not to overwhelm them. Give them the room to process their emotions in their own time. Resist the urge to check in constantly—it may come from a good place, but too much can feel intrusive. Let them know you’re here, without crowding their emotional space.
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