Myths and Legends – In search of the G-Spot. Picture: AP Photo/Petko Momchilov
Never before has one little spot caused so much angst and dilemma for us girls. I would have loved to have been there when a German gynaecologist, Dr Ernest Gräfenberg discovered this spot in the 1950s. It was a HE and what the hell was he looking for when he found it and then named it after himself?
Did you know that the clitoris was only mapped out in about 1995?
Most women – about 80% of us orgasm from clitoral stimulation, I often wonder why it took so long to map it and why we still know so little about it.
Penetration can be wonderful – makes him feel wanted as you gasp and say – ‘Hello, Big Boy’ but really it is the clit that needs more attention.
Only 20% of us can orgasm from penetration alone. That means that the majority of us are still in search of that G Spot orgasm. We're told we need therapy if we can’t and believe that our boyfriends think we are inadequate if we can’t.
What a crock of nonsense (I’ve given up swearing this month).
We got that idea from Freud. He believed that if we were unable to have an orgasm from penetrative sex we did not fulfill or grow out of some stage during our childhood! He also thought we all suffered from penis envy. I’m not sure we should believe anything he said.
If your partner believes the inadequate rubbish and he is incapable of being trained how to give the clit more attention - send him off to find one of the 20%. I’ll have my orgasm any way I can get it, thank you very much.
Which brings us back to the G-Spot.
I read an article recently which says that about 6% of women do not have one at all. If you are one of those – stop looking and seek pleasure elsewhere.
For those of you who still want to search, here are some tips.
The G-spot is situated in the vagina on the same side as your belly button.
It starts at approximately the same height as the top of your pubic bone. Remember we are all different.
If our genitals were more exposed, we could compare without feeling odd.
There is an additional complication, it’s much easier to find when aroused, and at my age I can’t waste arousal on a treasure hunt! There is a G-Spot arousal serum from a sensual care range called Eva – available on lolamontez.co.za and some pharmacies.
During arousal the texture of the G-spot changes from that normal lovely velvet feel. The skin lifts slightly and starts to feel like corduroy. I am not sure I can feel the difference between the two, but I think I can.
The surest sign that you are close is when you touch the G-Spot you feel as if you want to pee. Don’t, just breathe through it and know that you have found it.
Now wanting to pee is not my idea of an orgasm but with some persuasion and G-Spot massage it gets to feel very, very yummy. Not yummy enough to make me orgasm but certainly yummy enough for me to stop wanting to stab my partner and actually have sex.
I found my G-Spot on my own with a vibrator and some water-based lubricant all available on the Lola Montez Website.
Lie on your back with knees slightly raised. Insert the toy of choice into your vagina and aim towards the belly button. Keep in mind that your G-Spot may be closer to the vagina opening or cervix than someone else. When you get that pee feeling – massage around and on the spot.
You may be a soft touch or a rough rider, only you will know.
With a rhythm going you may be able to orgasm without touching another part of your body. If you are able to do that, you have had a G-Spot stimulated orgasm. I don’t and that’s okay with me. I get close - but then my clit just demands attention.
Now I have a friend who is one of the 20% who can orgasm from penetration, and she says that a G-Spot stimulated orgasm is wonderful. I asked her to compare it to a Clit stimulated orgasm and she said it was different, not better. Another friend says that it is much better, and she prefers it. My other 8 friends can’t comment!
If you and your partner are in search of the G-spot and it is quite a nice game to play – the naming of parts.
Lie on your tummy with that gorgeous tush slightly raised. Let him insert your favorite G-Spot toy into the vagina and slowly aim towards the belly button. He could use his hand – the fore and middle finger work best.
When you find the spot or if you are battling and he is not asking for directions, get him to make the come-hither motion with his fingers. It makes finding it easier and the stimulation more intense. Do not let him use his penis – he will get distracted and lost.
When you are completely satisfied that it is found, stimulated and climaxed or not – then and only then can his penis come to play. Let him see if the penis can find the G-Spot and who knows you may even be multi orgasmic.
Which toys to use? You can use your hand – make sure it is clean, no hang nails etc.
I prefer the feel of a toy. There are several on the market, a dildo does not vibrate, gets the job done.
Any toy that has a curved head is usually G-Spot material. For a more multipurpose option try the Lelo Gigi. Lelo toys are in a league of their own. They have several vibrating options, use air technology and charge like a toothbrush. Speaking about your toothbrush – not a good idea unless it is new and don’t get too carried away. It is the item most likely to be removed in the emergency room.
Lubricant is the most underrated toy of all. I have favourites for different occasions. A good water-based lube is always handy. Pjur is a premier brand that never goes sticky. If you can’t find it, if it doesn’t rock your world, it does not matter. It’s the journey and all the fun you have on the way that counts.
Saturday Star