The fascination with celebrity breakups: understanding our emotional investment
In a world where social media reigns supreme, celebrity breakups have become a spectacle that captivates millions.
From the heart-wrenching split of Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber to the tumultuous relationship of Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck, these high-profile separations evoke a whirlwind of emotions.
We find ourselves glued to our screens, dissecting every detail, sharing our opinions, and even mourning the loss of what we perceived as perfect love stories. But why are we so invested in these relationships?
Perhaps it’s because celebrities often represent ideals we aspire to - glamour, success and a love that seems unbreakable. When they falter, it feels like a reflection of our own vulnerabilities.
The recent announcement of the split between Springbok captain Siya and Rachel Kolisi divorce has sent shockwaves through Mzansi, leaving many fans heartbroken and bewildered.
This couple, once seen as a beacon of hope and unity in a nation still grappling with its past, now faces the end of their decade-long relationship.
Their split has ignited a wave of emotions across social media, with fans expressing sorrow and disbelief at the news.
As we delve into the phenomenon of celebrity breakups, we will explore the reasons behind our fascination, the emotional toll it takes on both the stars and their fans, and how the Kolisi story resonates deeply within the fabric of South African society.
In a country where Siya and Rachel were viewed as symbols of love transcending racial divides, their divorce feels like a personal loss for many.
Our obsession with celebrity couples often stems from how they are portrayed in the media. To understand why we are fascinated by celebrity breakups, Independent Media Lifestyle asked South African HPCSA registered counsellor Aniqa Johnson to help.
Johnson explained that we see only the best parts of celebrities' lives, creating an illusion of perfection.
"People like to believe in love and see these relationships as 'relationship goals'," Johnson said. This portrayal gives us hope as if their fairy-tale romance could be attainable in our own lives.
The media shapes our perceptions of love and connection, often setting unrealistic expectations. Celebrities live in a world of luxury, with extravagant dates and perfect appearances, making ordinary relationships seem lacking in comparison.
Johnson noted that this can distort our understanding of what a real relationship looks like, as we only see what celebrities want to share.
Johnson added: “Despite their glamorous lives, celebrities face the same challenges as everyone else. They are human, with real emotions and struggles.”
She pointed out: “Constant public scrutiny can lead to immense pressure and temptations. Being under a spotlight means every mistake is magnified."
This makes it difficult for them to navigate personal challenges privately.
Nowadays we have unprecedented access to celebrities’ lives, whether they invite us in or not.
This constant exposure creates a connection that feels personal, yet remains one-sided. We become invested in their relationships, witnessing the highs and lows, and feeling a part of their world.
Our fascination with celebrity breakups is fuelled by what psychologists call parasocial relationships - intimate bonds we form with people who don’t know us.
Johnson explained that these relationships are strengthened when celebrities share personal moments. They humanise themselves through social media challenges and candid posts, making us feel closer to them.
When celebrities showcase their perfect lives, luxurious vacations, grand gestures and flawless appearances, it sets unrealistic expectations for our relationships.
Johnson noted that while it’s natural to idolise these moments, they often don’t reflect the messy reality of real life, which is full of ups and downs.
However, the curated perfection we see can lead to unfair comparisons. When a celebrity performs a grand romantic gesture, it often sparks comments like, "If he wanted to, he would".
This mindset ignores the reality that celebrities live in different worlds with different resources.
The public's fascination with these separations reveals much about our perceptions of love and relationships, said Johnson.
Celebrities often curate their public personas, showing us only what they want us to see. With the help of PR teams, they craft narratives that seem flawless.
When these relationships crumble, it shatters the illusion, leaving fans confused and disillusioned. We must remember that we don't truly know these individuals or the intricacies of their lives.
The shock stems from realizing that our perceptions were just that—perceptions, not reality, she explained.
“Many fans invest emotionally in celebrity relationships, sometimes using them as benchmarks for their own lives.”
So when a high-profile couple splits, it can feel like a personal loss. This emotional response is a form of grief, a reaction to the loss of an idealised love story.
People might say things like, "If they can't make it, what hope is there for us?" These feelings, while not always serious, reflect a deeper yearning for connection and understanding.
For those struggling with emotions after a celebrity breakup, it's crucial to allow yourself to grieve. Feelings are personal and valid, and it's okay to feel sadness over these events.
Coping strategies such as journalling, mindfulness and self-reflection can be beneficial. It's essential to acknowledge your emotions without shame and to process them healthily.
Admiring a celebrity is natural but it's vital to maintain boundaries. Ensure that your admiration does not overshadow your own life.
It's healthy to enjoy their art or anticipate their projects but it should not consume you. Balance is key, focus on living your life and achieving your goals, advised Johnson.